Does The Therapist’s Gender Really Matter?

Written By: Amanda Swisher, LPC

Often, when considering visiting any professional, especially in a medical or psychological field, we sometimes have a very specific idea of the kind of person that we would like to work with. What this person looks like will often depend on our own past experiences or traumas, and we have a picture of what we think will make us most comfortable. Gender is a common variable that we like to control for, often men wishing to work with men, and women wishing to work with other women. But does it really matter? In the grand scheme of things within the therapeutic setting, how much does gender really affect the efficacy of working together?

Specialized Fields 

Therapists can be trained in a variety of specialties, such as marriage and family therapy, substance abuse and addiction, and sexual health, to name a few. When thinking about how therapist gender impacts the therapeutic relationship, does the field that they specialize in make a difference? 

In differing conditions, someone may want to share their experiences or trauma with the same gender because that is what will make them feel most comfortable, especially when we think about sexual disorders or sexual trauma. If the gender of the therapist matches that of the individual who caused such trauma, then seeking someone of the opposite gender could definitely help one to feel more comfortable. While this could make the one seeking therapy feel most comfortable (and please, if you need something like this to feel comfortable, do it. We’re not here to talk you out of the things that make you feel uncomfortable), it isn’t truly necessary to effect clinical change. 

Therapists, regardless of specialty, are trained to handle all facets of their clients. Similarity in gender is not necessary for a clinician to truly understand what their clients are going through and how to assist them, because this is ingrained in all specialties of therapists. What seems to matter most is not the gender, regardless of the field, but more the bond that is formed therapeutically. When clinician and client have a strong therapeutic relationship, greater change can be enacted. 

Client Gender

When deciding whether to see a male or female therapist, client gender matters only so far as it could influence what kind of therapist we would like to see. From the perspective of the therapist and providing the best possible care, gender isn’t necessarily a factor taken into consideration. Studies have been performed exploring gender in the therapeutic relationship, and while there have been differences found in how female and male therapists can present, client gender was not a factor that influenced this outcome. 

Client gender is a variable that is typically only taken into consideration from the client side of things, because, as mentioned previously, certain traumas and experiences may shape the type of therapist that a client may want to work with. But it doesn’t affect the therapeutic relationship. Therapists, while being trained to work with a variety of clients, are also trained to work with a spectrum of gender related problems and concerns. As long as they have created a comfortable and supportive environment, these topics can be explored safely by both individuals. 

With that being said, all therapists (and all people, really) have what are called biases. It sounds more intimidating than it really is. Biases are specific client-related aspects that cause a significant emotional response in the clinician. Early on in training to be a counselor, these biases are pulled out, examined, picked apart, and then planned for. Ethically, as therapists, we are not allowed to turn anyone away because we disagree with their beliefs, their way of life, or their gender identity. Instead, we need to find a way to be able to handle ourselves and still provide the best quality of care. Thankfully, no matter how fresh your therapist is out of grad school, they have been practicing this exercise for five years, bare minimum. So you can rest assured that even if your therapist prefers a certain gendered client, they’re more than willing and ready to handle the challenge of facing that bias in themselves, and will provide you the best care they can. 

Gender and Abuse Related Concerns

When an individual is in therapy for gender or abuse-related issues, it can be hard for a client to feel as though therapy will be beneficial with a therapist of the opposite sex. However, that doesn’t mean that it won’t be. But it is not hard to imagine how someone like a female who has suffered from domestic violence at the hands of her heterosexual partner may feel stressed or triggered by interacting with a male therapist. When the gender of the therapist is a trigger for the client in this way, it interferes with the goals of a successful therapy session. 

With that being said, it is still possible for a client to feel that therapy is beneficial with a therapist of the opposite sex. If someone is having trouble building safe and trusting relationships with males, then a male therapist may be the safest way to try to rebuild that ability. One of the key phenomena that therapists have to look at when interacting with a client, especially when discussing the client’s relationships with other people, is the relationship that the therapist holds with the client. If you're having trouble relating and interacting with males, the male therapist may examine their own relationship with you as it has been built. They can give insight into the impressions they received from you and what subtle messages you may have conveyed that you didn’t even realize you were doing, all while being in a safe and supportive environment, where risk is at its absolute minimum.  

At the end of the day, you should feel free to see whoever you are most comfortable working with, no matter what gender you prefer to work with as a client. But that doesn’t mean working with someone of the opposite gender will be a disaster. The greatest variable affecting clinical change and insight is the relationship between you and your therapist. If that foundation is set properly, then therapy will be a very successful endeavor for you, and it will help you achieve the goals you set out to accomplish.