Leaving Therapy Early

Written By: Amanda Swisher, LPC

Therapy can be an invaluable tool for a multitude of concerns for many people. Unfortunately, therapists encounter a phenomenon where they find their clients leaving earlier than expected and ending treatment. We’re left to wonder why. Was it something that we did or said? Or were we simply not meeting their needs? Oftentimes, it has nothing to do with the clinician at all, but rather what the client is going through internally instead. 

Reasoning

One of the reasons someone might leave therapy before they are ready is that they may feel judged or misunderstood by their therapist. Even when a client and therapist seem to be a good match, miscommunications still happen. Therapists do their best to make sure that the environment feels safe and nonjudgmental because they know that if a client doesn’t feel safe and comfortable, they won’t be able to truly open up and benefit from therapy. 

Another reason someone may leave therapy early may simply be because they are overwhelmed. Therapy can be really demanding, as it should be; The client is engaging in really hard work. Feeling overwhelmed is more commonplace than one would think. But if the problem starts to feel too big, discouragement begins to creep up, causing the client to leave. Therapists need to remind themselves to look for these signs so they can provide support and reassurance that the client can handle what they are going through. 

Lastly, clients may leave because they have had negative experiences in the past with other therapists. Unfortunately, not every therapist matches every client, and if this isn’t handled properly, it can leave a very bad impression on the client regarding what therapy is actually supposed to look like. If they have had a bad experience, they may be reluctant to even enter therapy at all. Talking with the therapist, or the therapist bringing up the topic in the first session, can help both parties to understand what worked well and didn’t work in the past so that the client’s needs can be met more effectively in the new situation. 

Therapist Disagreement 

When a client discloses that they would like to end therapy, there can be a lot of conflicting feelings for the therapist. A sense of pride is bound to come up. Their client feels as though they have made the progress that they have needed to make so they can move forward independently! That’s awesome! But, there is also a sense of concern. What if my client hasn’t reached all of their goals? Are they really prepared to manage their concerns independently? What if I haven’t set them up for success as best I can? 

When feelings like this arise, both parties need to maintain an open dialogue. The therapist needs to be prepared to ask why the client feels like they’re ready and offer reasoning why they might believe that they’re not prepared yet. On the other side, the client needs to be prepared to have this discussion. Hopefully, the appropriate amount of rapport has been established, and the therapist has created an appropriately open and welcoming environment so that the client doesn’t feel attacked and can answer these questions with honesty.

During this conversation, the therapist can offer alternative resources that can help the client feel more prepared to handle their situation on their own and assist them in transitioning away from therapy. A conversation like this is invaluably beneficial in cultivating a trusting relationship and understanding from both parties. Not only that, but it should help the client to feel supported and empowered, rather than judged, so that they can make the best choices for their future. In the end, it is always the client’s decision on whether they wish to continue therapy, and it is important for the therapist to remember that they must respect that decision. 

Discussing Readiness

As the client, if you believe that you’re ready to leave therapy, you shouldn’t fear broaching the topic with your therapist. It can be as simple as stating that you’ve learned a lot from your time together and you’d like to talk about stopping sessions. Realistically, most therapists see their own therapists, so they are aware of what it is like on the other side of the couch. They are aware of how the process goes and how hard a conversation like this can be. 

After broaching the topic, the therapist should be able to provide you with several pieces of information to make the transition process easier, and if they don’t, you have free agency to inquire about certain key things. One thing that your therapist should highlight for you is the progress you’ve made throughout your treatment, empowering you to continue succeeding outside of the therapeutic environment. They should also review what your personal “warning signs” are that signal to you that you may be falling back on old patterns of behavior that contributed to you seeking treatment in the first place. Lastly, your therapist can assist you in coming up with a plan for how you’re going to maintain progress after leaving, and how you can re-enter therapy if needed. 

As difficult as it may be for both sides to hear, sometimes there is something wrong with the therapy itself. The reality is, not every client matches with every therapist, and not every therapist matches with every client. This is okay! Therapists are prepared for this scenario and should be more than happy to provide you with a referral to a new therapist. This conversation can be an especially difficult one, but it may be helpful in this situation to provide the therapist with honest, constructive feedback about what didn’t work for you, and maybe the therapist can adjust to try to fit that need before discontinuing therapy. Improving the relationship can be difficult, and truthfully, no, it may not work. But it may be easier than trying to find a new therapist all together, as many clients feel like they have to “start from scratch.” 

Regardless of the reason for leaving therapy, the main takeaway here should be the importance of discussion, for both the client and the therapist. As professional counselors, we have a lot of training that allows us to be able to facilitate difficult conversations and navigate hard feelings that can crop up for ourselves. As clients, you/we may not have that background, and that is okay! But you’ll never know how that conversation will go unless you bring it up. Therapists and clients should trust the relationship, trust the skills they have acquired/built, and, as many, many therapists have heard in their training, trust the process.