Psychology Terms That Don’t Mean What You Think: 12 Commonly Misused Words Explained
Written By: Cassandra Schraft, LPC
Thanks to social media and the loosening of stigma surrounding mental health, therapeutic and psychological terms have become more common in everyday conversations.
It is important for us to continue to grow as individuals and as a society when it comes to our awareness of mental health, however incorrect use of terms can cause confusion and dilute their true meaning.
Chances are you may be using one or more of these words incorrectly. And that’s completely natural if your understanding of the word differs from its actual meaning or if you’ve picked it up based on how others use it. This blog is here to raise awareness, help correct misunderstandings, and support us all in moving forward as a more informed and compassionate society when we talk about mental health.
1. Bipolar
Commonly Misused As:
People often use the term “bipolar” to describe someone who shifts moods quickly or unpredictably, often in response to everyday situations.
“My mood’s been all over the place today - I’m so bipolar.”
What It Actually Means:
Bipolar Disorder is a serious mental health condition characterized by distinct mood episodes, most commonly manic (or hypomanic) and depressive episodes. These are not just momentary mood swings; they are sustained periods of extreme mood, energy, behavior, and activity level that can last for days or weeks and significantly impair daily life.
Why This Matters:
Referring to someone as "bipolar" because they’re moody or emotionally reactive not only minimizes the seriousness of the disorder, it contributes to misunderstanding and stigma. People with bipolar disorder often face significant challenges managing their mental health, and reducing the term to a casual insult can be deeply invalidating.
Try Instead:
The clinical term for a mood that shifts quickly or unpredictably if “affective instability” or “emotional reactivity.” Consider saying they’re “moody,” “emotionally up and down,” or “reactive”— not “bipolar.”
2. OCD
Commonly Misused As:
OCD is often used to describe someone who is extremely tidy, detail-oriented, or has strong preferences about organization.
“I’m so OCD about my desk. I have to keep everything perfectly aligned.”
What It Actually Means:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition involving two key components: obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are recurrent, intrusive, and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that cause significant anxiety or distress. Compulsions are repetitive behaviors or mental acts performed in an attempt to reduce the anxiety caused by obsessions. These actions are often time-consuming and disruptive.
For example, someone with OCD may feel intense fear that they’ll harm someone unless they follow a strict hand-washing ritual, or they may check a lock dozens of times due to an overwhelming belief that something bad will happen if they don’t.
It’s not about liking things clean or organized—it’s about feeling compelled to perform certain actions to neutralize overwhelming anxiety, often despite knowing the fear is irrational.
Why This Matters:
Misusing “OCD” to describe neatness or perfectionism dilutes the reality of the disorder, which, for those living with it, can be debilitating and exhausting. It may also make people with OCD less likely to seek help, especially if their symptoms don’t align with the popular (and inaccurate) portrayal.
Try Instead:
If you like things a certain way, say you’re “particular,” “detail-oriented,” or “a perfectionist”—not “OCD.”
3. Antisocial
Commonly Misused As:
Many people use “antisocial” to describe someone who is shy, introverted, or simply prefers to be alone.
“He’s really antisocial. He never wants to hang out or talk to anyone.”
What It Actually Means:
The prefix “anti-” means against, so antisocial literally means against social norms or the rights of others. In psychology, Antisocial refers to Antisocial Personality Disorder, a serious mental health condition characterized by a consistent pattern of disregard for others’ rights, impulsivity, deceitfulness, and often aggressive or criminal behavior. People with ASPD may lie, manipulate, or exploit others without remorse.
This is very different from asocial (with the prefix “a-/an-” meaning lacking), which describes someone who simply has little or no interest in socializing but doesn’t necessarily violate social norms or harm others.
Why This Matters:
Confusing “antisocial” with “shy” or “introverted” perpetuates stigma and misinformation. It can unfairly paint quiet or reserved individuals as dangerous or unfriendly when they are not.
Try Instead:
If someone prefers to avoid socializing, use “asocial,” “introverted,” or “socially reserved” instead of “antisocial.”
4. Schizophrenic
Commonly Misused As:
The term “schizophrenic” is often incorrectly used to describe someone who is unpredictable, has “multiple personalities,” or is “all over the place.”
“He’s so schizophrenic. He can’t make up his mind.”
What It Actually Means:
Schizophrenia is a serious and chronic mental disorder characterized by symptoms such as hallucinations (hearing or seeing things that aren’t there), delusions (false beliefs not based in reality), disorganized thinking, and impaired functioning in daily life.
It is important to note that schizophrenia is not the same as Dissociative Identity Disorder (previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder), which involves distinct identity states.
Why This Matters:
Misusing “schizophrenic” to mean “erratic” or “confused” spreads misinformation and stigma. This misunderstanding can make it harder for people with schizophrenia to be seen with empathy and to receive appropriate support and treatment.
Try Instead:
If someone seems indecisive or unpredictable, consider using words like “unpredictable,” “inconsistent,” or “conflicted” rather than “schizophrenic.”
5. Trauma, Traumatized, & PTSD
Commonly Misused As:
The word “trauma” is often used to describe any unpleasant or stressful experience, even if it’s not deeply distressing or life-altering.
“I was so traumatized when I tripped in front of that hot guy!”
What It Actually Means:
Trauma refers to a deeply distressing or disturbing event, often where a person’s sense of safety is compromised, that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope and causes lasting psychological, emotional, or physical effects. This can include experiences such as abuse, violence, accidents, natural disasters, or sudden loss.
It’s important to distinguish between trauma (the event) and being traumatized (the emotional or psychological response). Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event becomes traumatized, and people process trauma differently. For example, two people could experience the same car accident, one may feel shaken up for a few days and recover naturally, while another may continue to experience panic, hypervigilance, or nightmares for months.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing trauma. While feeling anxious or emotionally reactive after a traumatic event is completely normal and even expected, PTSD is diagnosed when those symptoms are prolonged, severe, and interfere with daily functioning,typically lasting longer than a month and involving symptoms like flashbacks, avoidance, negative mood changes, and hyperarousal.
Why This Matters:
Using “trauma” casually in everyday speech minimizes the impact of real traumatic experiences and can contribute to confusion about what trauma and PTSD really are. Recognizing the difference between temporary distress and a long-term condition helps people seek the right kind of support and validation.
Try Instead:
If something was upsetting but not emotionally wounding, words like “stressful,” “unsettling,” or “intense” may be more accurate than “traumatic.”
6. Panic Attack
Commonly Misused As:
“Panic attack” is often used casually to describe feeling nervous, overwhelmed, or stressed.
“I had a panic attack when I saw my inbox this morning. It was full!”
What It Actually Means:
A panic attack is a sudden and intense surge of fear or discomfort that reaches its peak within minutes and includes both physical and emotional symptoms. These may include rapid heartbeat, chest pain, shortness of breath or feeling of choking, sweating, shaking, chills, nausea, dizziness, numbness or tingling, a sense of unreality or detachment, and a fear of dying.
Panic attacks can happen unexpectedly (without a clear trigger) or in response to a feared situation. They're commonly associated with Panic Disorder, but can also occur with anxiety, PTSD, or even depression.
Why This Matters:
Describing everyday stress or frustration as a “panic attack” dilutes the seriousness of the real experience, which can be terrifying and debilitating. For people who actually suffer from panic attacks, casual misuse may lead to being dismissed, misunderstood, or hesitant to seek help, especially if casual use of the term has led others to view panic attacks as an exaggeration.
Try Instead:
If you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious, consider saying you were “really anxious,” “overwhelmed,” or “stressed out.” Save “panic attack” for situations that involve the intense, physical surge of fear that defines the clinical experience.
7. Depressed
Commonly Misused As:
“Depressed” is often used to describe temporary sadness, disappointment, or having a bad day.
“Ugh, I’m so depressed that my vacation is over.”
What It Actually Means:
Clinical depression, also known as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), is a serious mental health condition that involves more than just feeling sad. It includes a persistent low mood or sense of emptiness, along with other symptoms such as loss of interest or pleasure in activities, changes in sleep and appetite, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and in some cases, thoughts of death or suicide. These symptoms typically last at least two weeks and significantly interfere with a person’s daily life, relationships, or ability to function. Depression can affect anyone, regardless of their circumstances, and often requires treatment through therapy, medication, or both.
Why This Matters:
Using “depressed” casually can make it harder for people with actual depression to feel understood or validated. It may also discourage them from seeking help if they worry their experience will be minimized or misunderstood as just being “sad.”
It’s important to recognize that feeling sad, disappointed, or grieving are normal and appropriate emotional responses to life events. These emotions, though uncomfortable, are a natural part of the human experience and are meant to be felt. Depression, by contrast, is a clinical disorder that involves a sustained and disruptive change in mood and functioning. Confusing the two can blur the lines between healthy emotional processing and mental illness.
Try Instead:
If you're feeling low because of a specific situation such as a loss, rejection, or disappointment, try saying you're “feeling sad,” “grieving,” or “having a hard day.” It's okay (and healthy) to name those emotions without labeling them as a disorder. We don’t need to pathologize normal human emotions to validate them.
8. Gaslighting
Commonly Misused As:
“Gaslighting” is frequently used to describe any disagreement, denial, or situation where someone feels invalidated or unheard.
“I told him we talked about going to my parents' this weekend, and he swears we never had that conversation. He’s gaslighting me.”
What It Actually Means:
Gaslighting is a specific form of emotional manipulation and psychological abuse in which someone intentionally causes another person to question their memory, perception, or sanity. It’s not just lying, disagreeing, or remembering something differently. It’s a systematic pattern of denial, distortion, and misdirection designed to make the other person feel confused, insecure, or even mentally unstable.
The term originates from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she’s going insane by subtly altering their environment and denying it when she notices changes.
Why This Matters:
When “gaslighting” is used to describe any conflict or emotional discomfort, it weakens the term and erases the seriousness of real psychological abuse. People who are truly being gaslighted may not recognize it (or may fear they won’t be believed) if the term becomes synonymous with everyday disagreement or misunderstanding.
Try Instead:
If someone disagrees with your version of an event or denies something you remember, it may be a miscommunication or difference in memory. This is normal, not gaslighting. Consider saying you “felt dismissed” or “felt unheard.” Gaslighting should be reserved for situations involving intentional, repeated manipulation that causes someone to doubt their reality.
9. Narcissist
Commonly Misused As:
“Narcissist” is often used to describe someone who’s self-centered, vain, or simply difficult to get along with.
“She took five selfies at dinner and wouldn’t stop talking about herself. What a narcissist!”
What It Actually Means:
In psychology, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinically diagnosable condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Beneath these traits, individuals with NPD often have fragile self-esteem and a deep fear of inadequacy. People with this disorder may display an inflated sense of self-importance, fantasies about unlimited success or power, a strong sense of entitlement, exploitative behavior in relationships, and difficulty recognizing or caring about the feelings of others.
Importantly, this diagnosis must reflect a long-standing and inflexible pattern of behavior, not just occasional selfishness, arrogance, or insecurity.
Why This Matters:
Labeling someone a “narcissist” just because they’re self-absorbed, inconsiderate, or annoying oversimplifies a complex and often painful mental health condition. It can also turn the term into a casual insult, making it harder to recognize when someone is genuinely dealing with NPD—or being harmed by someone who is.
Try Instead:
If someone is acting in a way that feels arrogant, self-absorbed, or lacking in empathy, focus on describing the behavior, not the person, such as “They’re acting selfish,” “They aren’t being considerate,” or “That felt one-sided.” We can name harmful behavior without casually diagnosing a personality disorder.
10. Self-Care
Commonly Misused As:
“Self-care” is often used to mean indulgent or luxurious activities, like taking bubble baths, buying new clothes, or treating yourself to sweets.
“I’m just practicing self-care by binge-watching TV all day.”
What It Actually Means:
Self-care is about intentionally ensuring that our most basic physical, emotional, and mental needs are met. This includes getting enough sleep, eating nourishing food, maintaining personal hygiene, managing stress, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking support when needed. While indulging in luxuries like a bubble bath or a favorite treat can be part of self-care, they are not the foundation of it. True self-care is consistent and grounded in meeting essential needs that keep us functioning and balanced, not just occasional acts of indulgence.
Why This Matters:
Reducing self-care to only pampering or indulgence risks trivializing its importance. Real self-care isn’t always fun or easy. It sometimes involves difficult choices, like saying no to others, making time for therapy, or setting limits that protect your mental health. Understanding self-care as meeting fundamental needs empowers people to build meaningful habits that support well-being, rather than temporary escapes, distractions, or a way of shirking responsibilities.
Try Instead:
When you talk about caring for yourself, focus on the basics: “I’m making sure to get enough sleep,” “I’m prioritizing meals that nourish me,” or “I’m setting limits on my time to reduce stress.” These intentional actions lay the groundwork for health and resilience. And yes, you can still include luxuries when they support your overall well-being!
11. Codependent
Commonly Misused As:
“Codependent” is often used to describe anyone who’s overly caring, clingy, or involved in someone else’s problems.
“My boyfriend and I do everything together. We’re so codependent.”
What It Actually Means:
Codependency is a behavioral pattern often rooted in dysfunctional family dynamics, where a person excessively relies on others for approval and identity, often sacrificing their own needs in the process. It involves an unhealthy emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, friend, or family member, usually tied to enabling harmful behaviors or neglecting one’s own well-being. Codependency is characterized by people-pleasing, difficulty setting boundaries, and a fear of abandonment or rejection.
Why This Matters:
Using “codependent” casually can minimize the complex emotional patterns and struggles involved, turning what might be temporary caretaking or concern into a label that feels stigmatizing or misunderstood. It’s important to recognize codependency as a pattern that can be addressed and healed through therapy and self-awareness.
Try Instead:
If someone is being supportive or caring, consider describing the behavior specifically, like “She’s very involved” or “He’s really focused on helping.” When there are unhealthy dynamics, you might say “They have difficulty setting limits” or “There’s an imbalance in how they support each other.” This helps avoid misusing the clinical term and encourages clearer communication.
12. Boundaries
Commonly Misused As:
“Boundaries” are often used as a way to demand that others comply with one’s own expectations or wishes, rather than being about protecting one’s own well-being.
“She won’t change her schedule so we can go on this trip. She’s not respecting my boundaries.”
What It Actually Means:
Boundaries are the healthy limits and rules we set in relationships to protect our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. They help define where one person ends and another begins, guiding how we allow others to treat us and how we engage with the world. Boundaries can be flexible or firm, depending on the situation and relationship, and they’re a key part of self-respect and healthy communication. Setting boundaries means knowing your own limits and expressing your needs clearly, not controlling or manipulating others.
Why This Matters:
When “boundaries” are misused as tools to control others or enforce compliance, it can lead to confusion, resentment, and conflict. True boundaries promote mutual respect and protect both parties in a relationship. Without clear and healthy boundaries, people may overextend themselves, feel resentful, or be taken advantage of. Recognizing and honoring boundaries fosters healthier, more balanced relationships.
Try Instead:
If you feel someone is trying to use “boundaries” to get their way, it’s helpful to reframe it as “expectations” or “requests” rather than boundaries. When talking about real boundaries, say things like “I need to take time for myself,” “I can’t do that right now,” or “I’m setting this limit to protect my well-being.” This helps maintain clarity about what boundaries really are and encourages healthier communication.
Take Away
Words have power. They shape how we understand the world, how we relate to others, and how we see ourselves. Because of this, it’s important that we use mental health terms responsibly and with care. By choosing our words thoughtfully, we can foster greater empathy, reduce stigma, communicate more accurately, and create more meaningful conversations about mental health. Let’s continue learning together and use language that respects the true experiences behind these terms.
